Friends don’t stay friends forever.

You’re falling. Down, down, down. But you don’t worry. You know you’ll wake up. You keep falling. Down, down, down. Don’t worry, you tell yourself. You’ll wake up. 

But you don’t.

You’ve fallen. 

And you’ve hit the ground. 

And this time you won’t wake up.

You can’t.

Why do you wish to slumber so much when from the moment you die, you will have plenty of time to sleep?

I feel as if I’m giving 100% to my friends but all they’re giving back to me is 50%.

I’m always there for them, giving them help and support and when I try to talk about my problems they sort of… switch the topic onto something else or give me short answers that doesn’t help me. 

Maybe my expectations for advice is too high.

Maybe they aren’t good at giving advice.

Or maybe they really aren’t giving me 100%, like I give them.

You’ve got to treat everything as if you’ve got only one chance at it.

Even if there is other opportunities to do it, treat it as if you’ve got one shot. That’s when you know you’ve tried your best at it and you know you’ve put your all into doing it. 

And there’s always that chance of not being able to do it again. 

I know I usually say, “Well, there’s always next time.” but I really don’t like people thinking I’m all emotional. I guess the secret is out. I do care when I fail at something.

Honestly, I think being mad at yourself is worse than being mad at someone else. When you’re mad at someone, they can say sorry and everything is fine again. But for yourself, saying sorry is hard. Forgiving yourself can be one of the hardest things ever. 

Honestly if you’re going to fend yourself from an anon, don’t swear too much. I mean, using the word: bitch or fuck at the maximum two times is enough. But if you’re going to say: fuck off you cunt eating bitch or something I mean really.

You’re not sounding any better than the anon in the first place. At least use more… appropriate words. You’re trying to make the anon sound bad in the first place, so why make yourself look bad by using such profane words?

I know I said I didn’t need someone to be happy. And I still think and believe that. It’s just I see my friends always talking to that special someone and go to school to see girls get asked to dances in pretty classy ways and well… it gets me thinking if I’m ever going to find someone for me. 

Whatever. 

Like I said many times- don’t need a man to be happy. 

Try try try try try. 

That’s all it seems I can do- try. My friends ask me to do something and I say I’ll try. I see something I’d like to do and I say I’ll try. 

You know, I just want to do something, you know? To tell people: I will do it, when they ask me and to point to the guitar and say I will learn how to play the guitar. 

I don’t know why all of a sudden I feel so insecure. Everything’s so uncertain now. 

I was so naive when I was little. I thought when I grew up, people would be nicer, since they would be a lot more mature. I though getting a job is merely walking up to someone and asking for a job.

Was I wrong, or what.

Now I look back and wonder why I ever wanted to grow up.

When you grow up, you realize who your best friends really are.

You know, the ones who stick by your side all the time. Who are there for you when you need them to, who stick up for you during those hard times.

Those people.

When you’re young, it’s like everyone was your friend. That’s why being so young is great- everyone was nice to each other. Then you get older. And you realize the ones who you called friends were anything but. It sucks how it takes a lot of hurting  and hardships to realize who the real friends are.